The elf on the shelf.

We started the elf on the shelf this year. I’ve seen many conversations about this man on social media. Before I wasn’t so sure about this tiny little guy, but it’s fun. I see many elf’s doing weird things, but every elf is different. My kids are continuing to get older and we want to keep them young as long as possible and I really think this has helped. Our elf moves around the house, nothing crazy, just moves. It has been fun see the kids get dressed and run around to try to find him. They introduced themselves, they talk to him, and even told him don’t come back in a low spot because the dogs may get him 😂 I do find it cute. All of my reservations about this elf have gone away and I truly wish we would have done it a lot sooner. My kids are very good children, but it’s been fun to watch them. It feel like it’s keeping them young as our oldest is almost 9 so we don’t know how long this Christmas magic will stay with him, but this is in hopes it stays longer.

I highly recommend this little man 😃 enjoy the holidays.

Mental.

I was diagnosed with manic depression (another name for bi-polar) and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) when I was 17. This is something most people do not realize about me. It is something I do my best to hide and mask because it’s something I live with and something I don’t want people to feel bad for me for.

I came home from the hospital and looked at my mother and said, “I don’t want to take medications”. I hate taking medication, it’s something I’m not good at remembering, therefore I knew medications would not work for me. I had two sexual assaults happen to me within a year and one physical abuse. I mentally at 16 just couldn’t process this and well, this was the outcome. My mother was very supportive with not taking medications, but she said I had to prove to her that I could manage my diagnosis without the medication.

I am not against medications for everyone. I’ve known many people who have taken medications and I have never thought ill of those people. I just knew that’s not what I wanted for my life.

Everyday is different.

A male and female side silhouette positioned back to back, overlaid with various sized words related to the topic of mental health and depression.

Momming

I’ve been a working mother. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. I’ve been a work from home mom. Guess what? My kids are taken care of.

I’ve breastfeed. I’ve bottle fed. I’ve formula fed. Guess what? My kids are fed.

I’ve had c-sections. Not by choice and by choice. Guess what? My children are alive and thriving.

Throughout my time as being a mother I’ve realized many things.

1. Dads don’t get enough credit.

I say this because people always say “mom”, but it takes two people to have a child and in a lot of cases dads are there too and there are many single fathers. Moms can walk away just as easy as dads. Maybe I feel this way because my husband is an amazing father, but it drives me nuts when he doesn’t get credit for our children. We’re a team. We work together. Give him credit to.

2. People judge so much, but never to your face.

I’ve been a victim of this and well as I’ve personally been guilty of this. It’s wrong. It doesn’t matter how people parent guess what? It’s not your kid, not your problem. If it goes terribly it’s not something you have to deal with. Let people do what they want and deal with it their way.

3. Never apologize for doing what you feel is best for you or your kids.

This one is straight forward. Your parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc will have opinions. Not their kid. Not their problem. Do what you believe is right, if it turns out it’s not, then YOU deal with it. The key here is you deal with it, you’ll learn.

4. It won’t be this way for long.

Everything ends. Take one day at a time. Love every moment. I used to hate when my kids would wake up in the middle of the night, but I loved the cuddles. Therefore, love it. My kids used to need me a lot more and it got annoying, I love when they need me now. Enjoy every moment.

5. Don’t feel sorry for needing a break.

I used to feel terrible if I needed a break, but I realized I came back missing them, and came back refreshed and loving them more. Everyone needs a break from anything in life. Just remember you’re human.

I’ve learned a lot and continue to learn, but here’s 5. I love being a parent. I say parent because as I said earlier dads can feel the same way as a mom. I’m a parent and I love every good, bad, and ugly moment.

Forgiveness is freedom.

My abuser was a man that I share 50% of my DNA with.

I have to say… I forgave him. It took a lot, but I did eventually forgive him. I don’t speak to him. I don’t have any association to him, but internally I forgave him. I didn’t do this for him, but I did this for me. Let me explain why.

Before I forgave him I realized what had happened to me was consuming my life. I woke up thinking about my situation, I fell asleep thinking about it, I had dreams, I would talk about it, and constantly have flashbacks. It felt like it was everywhere. I felt people could tell what happened to me by simply looking at me. I would see something that would make me think about it. At some point I realized this wasn’t healthy and I couldn’t live like this anymore. I thought for a very long time and finally I realized I needed to forgive him.

I did not forgive him for him, but for me. Let me also say this is what worked for me, some people may not agree or it may not work for them, but it helped me to move on with my life and not let something consume me.

I personally felt that by me continuing to think about it, he was still controlling me and I couldn’t handle that. I wanted to be in control of my own life. I couldn’t imagine letting someone who wasn’t in my life anymore, someone who had done me so wrong, control my life. I couldn’t let every other person in my life pay for his mistakes.

I had googled how to handle my situation and nothing seemed to make sense to me, but forgiveness.

I stopped blaming myself and when I would I would simply tell myself why this wasn’t my fault. It took a lot and I had to do it a lot, but basically I was drilling it into my own head and making myself believe it wasn’t my fault. Let’s be real. The victim is not to blame. I was the victim, therefore I was not to blame.

Finally came the forgiveness. I realized he was sick. Or so that’s what I tell myself. Something wasn’t right in his head. Still something I tell myself to this day. The even occurred over 13 years ago. Still this is what I tell myself. I decided that someone in their right mind would not do what he did. So I forgave him. I made what he did into an illness. I told myself that I can forgive him, because he was sick. Now this may not be right. So far it has worked for me. You are suppose to forgive the people who have wronged you. I do believe that. Now just because I forgave him doesn’t mean I want him in my life. I have no association to him. I do not speak to anyone that associates with him. I have cut all ties. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you forget. I do not trust him. When someone wrongs you, you don’t have to let them back in your life.

https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?p=forgiveness+quotes&fr=mcafee&imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rd.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F2%2F2016%2F08%2Fquotes-about-forgiveness.jpg#id=2&iurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rd.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F2%2F2016%2F08%2Fquotes-about-forgiveness.jpg&action=click

Forgiveness means different things for everyone. For me it just meant I’m moving on from what he did and I’m not going to let it affect me anymore.

Who is Lita?

Either you run the day. Or the day runs you.

My name is Lita.

I am a victim of sexual abuse. This happened to me many years ago, I was young, I was vulnerable, and what’s worse is it was by someone I trusted.

I am here to tell you that’s just a day in life or a time period in your life, but that doesn’t have to define you. I have gone on to get married, have kids, and live a normal life.

But before I got to where I am today, I went through many emotions. I cried daily. I was afraid of many things. I was afraid to go certain places in case I would run into this person. I couldn’t talk about the situation or the person without crying.

On this page I will discuss, bad days, good days, and how I coped with it and overcome my situation.

I will be here to assist people and help people cope with their situations. You can tell me as much as you want or as little as you want.

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started